The Dumbest Professor I've Ever Met

“It would be better for many professors if instead of following their own devices and cutting out new paths of thought for themselves, they would inquire for the good old ways of God's own truth and beseech the Holy Ghost to give them sanctified understandings and teachable spirits.” – C.H. Spurgeon

A few weeks ago, I attended a lecture on biblical geology that was taught by a college professor who had studied at Columbia University. She was speaking at a local synagogue but since the lecture was advertised by a Southern Baptist church, I figured it would be worth attending.

I was wrong.

The professor began with a geographical and geological overview of the area around the Dead Sea, which was a bit dry (no pun intended) but at least biblically and historically accurate. She then spoke about how Abraham had left Ur of the Chaldees and settled in modern day Israel. She even touched on Lot and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah “for their sin” but refrained from mentioning that their sin was rampant sexual immorality, specifically homosexuality.

The professor then tried to scientifically explain the fire and brimstone that God used to destroy the twin cities by suggesting that volcanic activity may have been involved because sulfur deposits have been found in the area. Everyone else in the audience just nodded their heads in agreement and acquiescence like a bunch of mindless sheep despite the fact that Genesis 19:24 clearly states, “Then the LORD rained brimstone and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, from the LORD out of the heavens.”

That doesn’t sound like a volcanic eruption to me.

From there, the supposedly learned professor tried to explain the collapse of the walls around Jericho by blaming it on seismic activity. Forget about the trumpet blasts and the shouts of God’s people, not to mention their obedience in marching around the city seven times that morning. No, she claimed, the “walls came a tumblin’ down” because of an earthquake.

“How much time do I have left?” the professor then asked the moderator. When she was told she still had 20 minutes remaining, the professor decided to share some thoughts about the Great Flood. Once again, instead of relying on the biblical account, she looked exclusively to science… and pseudo-science at that.

Stating emphatically that the African and European continents were once joined at the Strait of Gibraltar “hundreds of millions of years ago” and then broke back apart, she deduced that the Dardanelles – a narrow strait between the Sea of Marmara and the Aegean Sea in modern day Turkey, was once closed off. When that blockage was removed, she theorized, it could have caused a massive, localized flood that may have wiped out the people living in that area.

As if on cue, the sheep filling the pews in front of me nodded their heads affirmatively and obediently. The professor then asked for questions… and my hand shot up immediately. She managed to ignore it until every other fawning question had been answered and then finally, she called on me.

“Instead of concocting a theory about continents shifting and straits closing – all of which is mere conjecture, based on total speculation, and impossible to prove – why not simply accept the biblical account of the Great Flood in which God flooded the earth through a combination of 40 days and nights of rain and the opening of the underground reservoirs?” I asked the professor.

She looked at me as if I was some kind of Neanderthal who had just crawled out from under a rock.

It soon became clear that this educated professor, who was lecturing on biblical geology in a Jewish synagogue, had very little knowledge or understanding of the Old Testament. “I’m looking for scientific explanations,” she said, clearly flustered. “Besides, I’m not here to be controversial.”

No, ma’am, you were there to spout half-truths and whole lies… and I was there to refute them with God’s Word.

“Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools… They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is forever worthy of praise! Amen.” Romans 1:22 & 25 (BSB)

- Rev. Dale M. Glading, President